Looking back in retrospect, I wish I knew some of the things I know now. Maybe that would have saved me from lots of trouble I got into and some of the spankings I got.
Dear younger me, first things first: mum is right, stop buying baggy clothes to hide your body. you’re perfect the way you are.
Despite how courageous you were when puberty hadn’t happened, the last few years have you feeling like you’ll never be enough. You purposely slouch when you walk so grown men won’t lust after you, you question whether it is a curse to be intelligent and you believe God didn’t love you when he gave you “an attention seeking” body like you call it.
You have an interesting life ahead of you. Some events will leave you wishing you weren’t born while some will leave you feeling like you’re on top of the world.
If there is one thing I can assure you, your intelligence is not a curse. It will open doors for you. Also, your body is not “attention seeking”, it is who you are. You are just unlucky to have met those people who took advantage of you.
Do not try to force friendships with people. Not everyone will like you, I mean, you don’t even like everyone. When someone shows you they are, mean or untrustworthy, do not try to make excuses for them. That is who they truly are.
I have to be honest with you, you will make many mistakes, some of which could have been avoided. Do not let that mistake define you neither should you beat yourself up for it. Pick yourself up and keep your head held up high. Do not blame mom’s absence for your mistakes. She was struggling to put a food on your table and make life conducive for you. Be her friend, do not wait till you’re in your twenties before you patch up that broken relationship. Remember, she won’t be here forever.
Do not be in a hurry to find love. It is meant to happen on its own. People can sense desperation and they take advantage of it.
You are confused today, you are fighting so many battles that is preventing you from living and enjoying life to the fullest. You need to take it one step at a time and remember to breathe darling.
On a second thought, wear that baggy shirt. It is quite trendy here in the future.